Time

It is interesting that something so fundamental to our very existence, time, gets so little attention. That's not to say that we don't think about time often, in fact it comes up constantly, but time is not often the subject of our intentional reflection or action. We all know the value of time management, but how often do we really get to the bottom and think about our basic conceptions of time?

For example, consider the basic dichotomy we ascribe to time: a division between "what I have to do" and "what I want to do." Why the divide? Well, we recognize that some things have to be done "for a living," yet they usually do not satisfy us in the ways we want so we experience an ever-present tension between our rational recognition of work and our desire for play. Why don't we find our work satisfying? Well, essentially, because it isn't fun, or sometimes because it's just too overwhelming. There is certainly something to be said for relaxation, or sabbath as some call it, but it is the former motivation I want to focus on.

I want to posit that our conception of time is at root hedonistic. Some of us are blessed (?) with a sense of duty that allows us to power through any amount of work with little thought for fun, but many others of us are more inclined to want fun, fun, fun all the time. And why not? Fun is what I enjoy the most, so why shouldn't it be my top priority? One reason I would offer is that fun is too volatile and faithless; it comes and goes of its own accord and when it's gone it leaves us without recourse. When I'm not having fun, I get caustic to be around and I find myself powerless to manipulate my emotions back toward amiability.

Another reason is that hedonism is a misunderstanding of the nature of time. Hedonism becomes overly-fixated on the present, since a thing can only be enjoyed as in the present. Thus, we move from present event to present event, accumulating fun as we go so long as the events are sufficiently new and exciting(since excitement fades with repitition).

Further, hedonism is ultimately a misunderstanding of fun. Fun is not the sort of thing that can be found by seeking it directly; rather, fun is the byproduct of other actions. Of course, we know this, otherwise we would sit and stare at a wall and expect fun to emerge. But, when fun is our focus, we end up instrumentalizing everything else in our lives, including our friends. In the end, our friends become instruments for our own enjoyment and pleasure, which is a very shallow view of friendship (and marriage, by the way).

When it comes to our faith, we find ourselves in constant cycles of "off" and "on" when it comes to those things we know we're supposed to be doing, like reading the Bible, praying, and attending church. The problem with these things is that they demand repetition, and repetition just gets boring. After enough time, we come to expect the roller coaster and we call such seasons normal. To an extent they probably are, but to an extend they reveal our hedonistic conception of time--which is why we are so bad with demanding habits.

The Christian tradition, however, provides a different approach to time. In Christianity, time is weighty and we are time-heavy people, full of past, present, and future. We stand in communion with the "cloud of witnesses" watching our race and share with them in liturgy, we live out the daily rhythms of our faith in the present, and we gaze toward the future remembering what reconciliation will look like--current brokenness is another reason not to search for "fun" in our lives. In this way, we are rooted in the past, standing in the present, and leaning toward the future.

This sense of time is instantiated through the daily spiritual disciplines and liturgies given to us by tradition. These disciplines are about a lot more than fun, and their repetition gets into us in a deeper way than any mere emotion could ever. More than that, these disciplines connect us to God so that he can provide us the resources--grace, namely--to live and love every day, our daily bread if you will. This Source of energy and motivation is limitless and powerful and outstrips what we could ever come up with on our own or through the channel of "fun." Without God's grace, we will come up short often, and the ones around us will be the first to pay.

I find it incredibly difficult to train myself to live inside the faithful, weighty vision of time passed down to me by the Christian tradition. Why? Well, it isn't fun. A few more things it isn't: romantic, easy, efficient, and sexy. Still, I know that until I take time more seriously than I do now, I will not experience the full life that God has for me. On my own power and on my own time, I will run at an incomplete percentage. I must become more timely, for as Irenaeus said, "the glory of God is a human being fully alive."